Not food related, but funnyish……..

The Great Key Saga of 2015
About a week ago my daughter informed me that she can’t locate her keys. She had used them the night before to get into her apartment with her 1 ½ year old toddler, Charlie. Admittedly she can’t remember where she set them down and doesn’t remember Charlie playing with them as she busied herself preparing him for bed. Yet somehow we are all convinced he is the culprit and has hidden them very well or somehow disposed of them via the toilet or who knows how else.
Using her spare car key she drove to work and upon picking up Charlie from our house I lent her my wife’s set of her apartment keys with the idea that she’d get them duplicated again. She kept them separate from her car keys and voila has misplaced them again! Not feeling like it would be Charlie’s fault this time the plan was for me to give her my set tonite on her way home.
After thinking about it for a few minutes I decided what would be better would be for me and Charlie to trek out and get a few sets of keys made. Nana checked with the 99 cents store and yes they make keys.
Charlie and I bundle up and with umbrella stroller head down to the “boulevard” to the store to make the keys. Upon arrival there is a woman standing outside with a LARGE baby stroller waiting for someone to open the door for her. I thought she was waiting for a customer to come out as I know that her stroller will never fit into the store. Thankfully I have Charlie in is minimally sized umbrella stroller for the occasion. She says to me: “I don’t think we can fit in the store.” I said I was only going to the counter for keys to be make, in spite of everyone else in life she decides to come in and block my path to the counter as well as the exit door. She stood there asking me what she should do. No, I was polite and told her I didn’t know but that I needed to get past her. She feigned an attempt to push through an aisle never really clearing the space she was standing in. I then decided to go down the aisle and come up the next one that would put me in front of the keymaking counter. By the time successfully maneuvered my way through she parked her stroller and was now shopping where I planned to park Charlie while the keys were being made.
I took the ring that held the three keys I needed duplicated off my larger key ring and hand it to the young man behind the counter. I ask for a quote on making 3 sets of 3 keys and they informed me then don’t make two of them. I take the keys back and put them in my coat pocket and re-maneuver my way out of the store. We walk up our hill and I decide to do what I was trying to avoid and put Charlie into the carseat in my car and head out to Home Depot.
Upon arrival and the massive, almost filled to capacity, Home Depot Parking Lot, I put Charlie into the seat of an abandoned HD shopping cart. I set the alarm on the car and decide to pull the keys out of my pocket and have them in my hand ready to go before entering the store!
The cursed keys are not in my pocket!!!
I check all pockets…..NO KEYS.
I check the car both the driver’s seat, in around and under…..NO KEYS.
I check the car seat, in, around and under…..NO KEYS.
OMG where are these unblessed keys??
They must have fallen out somewhere in my travels. Put Charlie back into the carseat, check pockets one more time, NO KEYS. Drive back home stopping at the 99cent store and asking if I dropped the keys and if anyone found them. The lady behind the counter looks like I’m accusing her of stealing my keys. Telling me if I dropped them she wouldn’t have them! Really?
I drive up the hill trying to remember exactly which spot I was parked in. Of course it is no longer available and I’m slightly confused as to which of three it might have been! I search around three cars can’t see anything. Jump back into the car and circle the block for a new parking spot. Once ensconced into a very icy lousy shovel job spot I put Charlie into the stroller and retrace our steps all the way back to the store. Again, following the same path home again not finding the keys.
Once in front of the building I determined where we crossed the street and this reminded me of where the car was originally parked. The oversized SUV parked there now is actually partially on the sidewalk and peering under the car is difficult due to the mound of ice it is sitting on. Down to hands and knees I am able to see something shiny! I blindly reach under between the running board and the ice mound to locate the shiny object.
OMG it’s KEYS!!! Quick prayer mumbled and sure enough they were the errant keys, that must have fallen out of my pocket when I was getting into the driver’s seat and pulling my keys out of the pocket to drive the car to Home Depot!
Moral of the story……reattach the keys to the massive key ring! Came upstairs for bathroom break and lunch before trekking back to Home Depot!

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3 Responses to Not food related, but funnyish……..

  1. lulu says:

    The good news is you found the keys!

    Like

  2. Helen Vess says:

    OMG. What a nightmare. Had a similar situation. I parked over a drain in a parking lot I got out of the car and dropped the car keys down the grated manhole cover. Someone from The restaraunt came out with a few wire coat hangers hooked together and was able to hook the keys and pull them up out of there for me.

    Hope you will be able to weather another storm. Have a good night

    Love to all, Helen

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  3. piper wilder says:

    Jim not only are you a master chef but one hell of a writer comedic at that! Only you can make a nightmare story sound so funny and have us in tears laughing…glad you found those ‘possessed keys! ‘

    Like

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